SACRED RULES AND TIMELESS TRUTHS #RNC2016

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Sacred rules and timeless truths I learned attending the Republican National Convention. There’s a lot of good information here. Especially ** items.

Sacred Rules

  1. **Check, double-check, and triple-check your departure time.**
  2. **Check, double-check, and triple-check your departure time.**
  3. **Check, double-check, and triple-check your departure time.**
  4. Take a snack with you in your bag even if you’re not hungry so that you don’t end up spending $5.95 on a 3-oz bag of almonds because you’re starving when your plane is late.

Timeless Truths

  1. It says nothing about your intelligence or your competence if you can’t figure out how to unzip your suitcase when you’re packing to go home.
  2. Even if you’re only throwing things into a suitcase, it takes more than 20 minutes to pack. More like 60.
  3. **It is extremely helpful to confirm flight info the day before travel.**
  4. It is extremely challenging to figure out why you got no “time to check in email” from the airline you’re supposedly flying while driving to the airport. Degree of difficulty increases if: you forget your Expedia password; you are pretty sure you’re going to miss your flight; or you’re going to a stupid airport that isn’t clear about the location of its Rental Car Return lot.
  5. No matter how many times TSA removes the bottle of water from your bag as you go through security, you will forget that you can’t carry water in your bag through security.
  6. It is helpful to be surrounded by good Samaritans when you drop your credit card and driver’s license. Without realizing it. More than once.
  7. Millennials in line behind you are very good at helping you figure out what stupid Expedia is trying to tell you about your departure time.
  8. *****It pays to have a sense of humor when you realize you’ve brought yourself within a skosh of a heart attack rushing to catch your flight but were mistaken about your departure time, and your flight leaves at 2:43 pm NOT 12:43 pm.*****
  9. It doesn’t matter how early you get to the airport if you sit at the wrong gate for two hours.
  10. It can be helpful to throw yourself on the mercy of the ticket agent when you dash up to the correct gate 10 minutes before the flight leaves and were supposed to check in an hour ago because the flight is overbooked. Crying doesn’t hurt.
  11. Not everyone likes Republicans. Or Mormons. (This last one I already knew, but it bears repeating.)
  12. It is highly unlikely that rubbery legs out of sync with brain commands is early-stage Parkinson’s (see Intense Anxiety above). You should feel free to keep drinking Diet Pepsi all the way to Salt Lake.
  13. **God protects fools and babies.**

 

One thought on “SACRED RULES AND TIMELESS TRUTHS #RNC2016

  1. I wish I could have heard your speech. Your sense of humor is spot on and if it was anything like how you write it must have been hilarious. Quite a difference from the politicians I’m sure.

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